Woah!! Adulting!! Still hanging in there?! Lol. Adulting is the most difficult thing to accept and deal with specially when you’re just not ready with all the things that comes with it: bills, career, relationships, finances, marriage, parenting, leisure, etc. etc.
I’m turning 30 this year my gosh but I still feel like I’m just 18. Still crying like a baby and always running to my sister or my husbands comfort when I feel like life is just getting too much for me to handle. But things have been different these days. It’s quite easy for me to get out of being stressed, depressed or anxious compared years ago when I’m still hanging onto toxic relationships (not my love-life) and hang ups that I couldn’t really fully accept or forget. God has been really good to me. For real!! I’m reluctant to post my life story here. It’s still on my pending posts and I’m just really anxious and worried that I might impact others negatively. Specially those who’re involved. That is the hardest part of being anxious and conscientious. I’ve been preaching a lot about not minding about people’s opinion but I myself is anxious about it when it comes to opening up about my past and my life now. I don’t really want to harm anyone. But I know God has made my life as it is for a reason, and that is inspiring those who’ve gone through the same experience or anyone who’d relate and connect to it.
Creating a blog and starting vlogging is Gods gift I know. For a hermit and introverted person like me, opening up to the public would be the last thing I would ever do but my heart keeps on getting me into troubles (😂 Just Kidding). My heart just keep longing for release and me writing my own book (in Gods perfect time and with His grace) is a dream that I really want to fulfil and by doing these two it may happen in the near future. I’m not in a hurry, there’s always a perfect time for everything and I have to gain more experience in writing and vlogging. Things will just come into place.
Lately things have been extremely challenging and tiring with my work. I’m currently working as a nanny of a 1 year old baby boy here in Hong Kong and boy believe me I didn’t know either that I’d last this long. I’ve only been here for 10 months and these months were really challenging but exciting. I’ve been a sheltered kid somehow, I’ve no children yet and the only child care experience that I’ve had my entire life was just taking care of my nieces/nephews and my dogs(I don’t know if this counts😂) and doing some community programs. I was referred by my sister that’s why I got the job. You can imagine the level of difficulties and adjustments I have gone through when I got here. I love the baby for I acted as the second mother to him and I consider him like my firstborn. With this experience, my respect to moms and domestic helpers is much much higher than before. This was a sudden change in my life that has only been decided for a few days with a lot of contemplations and talks with my husband and father. I believe that opportunities shouldn’t be wasted that’s why I’ve decided right away but I had to consider what my husband has to say. We we’re reluctant to be separated so instantly for we just got married for almost a year when I’ve heard about it. We prayed for it and walla Hong Kong life it is. This is just a milestone for me, I really intended to migrate in Canada after this coz’ it’s easier when you get a work experience here in Hong Kong specifically those who take care of babies, children or elderlies. I’d post a more detailed story about this next time.
So these are the thoughts I want to impart on this post:
So these are the thoughts I want to impart on this post:
Life is hard to everyone. Nobody gets a life who doesn’t have a mishap. Everyone go through bad times coz’ it’s just how life is. Being an illegitimate child, youngest and only child of my mom and Dad (but I have other siblings on both sides) you could imagine how complicated my life is. My situation though didn’t hinder me to do the best that I can to be the best version of myself. I’ve gone through a lot of evolutions, rebuilding, healing, acceptance, transformations and the likes; and I still am. Right now I know, so far I am the best version of what I am. This didn’t happen overnight tho. Even now I still learn new things about myself, good and bad; still a work in progress.
I believe that in able for people to change the world one should know who they are first so they would know how to change for the better then make a change in the world. This was one of my reasons why I took up Psychology. I wanted to know how to deal with the things I’m going through and to help others whose going through miseries; in forgetting traumatic experiences, getting over depressions, anxiety or any emotional baggages that needs to be released. Beforehand I just get by difficult times through praying, writing, hanging out with friends that keeps me from succumbing to total despair specially when I was in juvenile and suicidal stage during my teenage years, and through my Mothers’ loving comfort and her inspiring being. The latter has been my driving force and God. Until she passed away so sudden. Even though she’d been fighting emphysema for 5 years, her death for me is still hard to accept. God knows how I am still trying to accept her untimely death. Her life could have been longer (Sorry, it’s still hard)............ She kept me going when I just wanted to give up. My best friend to ex boyfriend and now husband has a big role on my fights in this life, He kept me from doing bad things to myself. I’ve treated him like a disposable for a very long time and yet he never gave up on me. When I finally believed that He’s not like my Father or will ever be, that’s when I’ve decided to marry Him. We we’re then on our 12th year. Now it’s almost our 2nd year wedding anniversary; things are still complicated, tough, and challenging but life has been better with him. I know I am broken, I was angry and still get angry sometimes (with people and the things I have to go through), I know I’ve come a long way, I know I’ve been bad and now is getting better coz’ I’ve tried and still try hard to be better in spite of all the hardships and traumas and unending self healing. I’m this tough because I’ve gone through a lot of sh*ts in life.
Life hurdles won’t end. Don’t ever wait for that to happen. This is gonna be a cliche, but just keep going life won’t get easy, you’ll just get stronger. Being in that situation like you keep on asking “why does it always happen to me?”, “why me?”, “ why my life is so unfair?”, or say “I can’t do this anymore”, “I want to die!!!!!” Life is tough indeed and it’s really tiring when you feel like things aren’t changing or you’re like you keep going in circles and feeling stuck, tired and hopeless. You just really have to get through it over and over again. You can’t stop fighting. Your life is worth fighting for. Just live and explore yourself and the world. Experience all the good things life could offer.
There’s nobody limiting you but you. No one’s gonna save you but you, life doesn’t owe you anything to make things easy for you or to give whatever you want. God is with you but you have to do things for yourself. Your life is your responsibility next is your spouses’, children and parents. If you can’t be responsible for yourself, for sure you can’t be responsible with others.
Some were born to live a complicated and difficult life without a choice, some go through it because of their own doing. There are things that we can control and not. Do not try to control the things you know you can’t. Ourselves, we’ve got a total control. So focus on yourself and making better choices. If you’re in a bad circumstance and you just feel like you’re unhappy and not growing then get out of there. Be accountable of your life. No circumstance can hold you back. Nothing holds you back but you.
You are not alone. There are people out there who goes through difficult times. Different story but same cries and sentiments. I don’t know, in a way this helped me accept things not in a way like I’m thankful coz’ I’m not the only one miserable. It consoled me that even though some go through worst they’re still there living and trying even things are just hard and overwhelming. You can do that too. Just don’t give up. Life is sweet after you overcome your mountains.
Acceptance is not an easy process. It’s hard to forget, to overcome trauma, to get out of depression or anxiety or stress so easily. Others have to undergo therapy, some needed to take medicines to just get by and live through it. Acceptance takes a lot of your effort. If you have supportive and healing people around you then you’re blessed, but even if you don’t have one what’s important is you have you. Change will only happen if you’re gonna make continuous effort to change. Eventually you’ll get better and more stronger.
Life is good. The world is big. There are more people out there that are worth to meet. You have little but enough time to experience a lot of good things, you just have to get out of there and look for it. There are a lot of ways to make things work for you. Do not limit yourself in thinking you can’t or you don’t have money or you don’t have time. Excuses won’t help you. Time is gold make use of it wisely. You’ll never know maybe in an hour or tonight you’re gone but if you take each day as if it’s the last you’ll have no regrets.
Don’t settle for less. Work, love life, friendships, religion or any relationships; if it doesn’t make you grow for the better or make you happy, leave it. Invest yourself, your time, effort and energy to something that’ll make you feel important, useful, loved or nurtured. While you’re still breathing we still have enough time. Don’t worry of not getting the right ones in all facets of your life. While you’re in a pursuit of greatness and happiness all good things will come along: career, partner, friends, religion, finance, etc. You might feel stuck then check out this article I’ve posted before.
You’re never too old or too young to reach your dreams or goals or to travel. Make things work in your favour. When I was young even though I couldn’t travel because I don’t have the money for that, so I’ve attended community programs and volunteered on outreach programs and demographic surveys during summer vacations. I was a scholar of a Politician during College and this comes with a lot of opportunities and responsibilities it made my younger years a lot more exciting and worthwhile. Now that I’m turning 30 people worry that I’m still unstable and don’t have a child yet. I’ve set my goals and priorities already and there are things that I need to postpone and to sacrifice for the meantime. Things has been extra difficult for me coz’ I don’t really have that support system like others have. I have to work for everything that I have and that’s just fine with me. I’m awesome in so many ways 😂 (it’s confidence not cockiness) and being independent is one. So, regarding with age it’s just a number, your willingness and hunger of exploring and doing important things in this world is the thing that matters. Work your way through things in your own way. Opportunities come for a reason. Just try everything you can.
There are a lot more things I want to share but I think these things are enough for now. Please check out my youtube channel Pinky Barr enjoy and thanks for reading this blog. God bless!
Life is good. The world is big. There are more people out there that are worth to meet. You have little but enough time to experience a lot of good things, you just have to get out of there and look for it. There are a lot of ways to make things work for you. Do not limit yourself in thinking you can’t or you don’t have money or you don’t have time. Excuses won’t help you. Time is gold make use of it wisely. You’ll never know maybe in an hour or tonight you’re gone but if you take each day as if it’s the last you’ll have no regrets.
Don’t settle for less. Work, love life, friendships, religion or any relationships; if it doesn’t make you grow for the better or make you happy, leave it. Invest yourself, your time, effort and energy to something that’ll make you feel important, useful, loved or nurtured. While you’re still breathing we still have enough time. Don’t worry of not getting the right ones in all facets of your life. While you’re in a pursuit of greatness and happiness all good things will come along: career, partner, friends, religion, finance, etc. You might feel stuck then check out this article I’ve posted before.
You’re never too old or too young to reach your dreams or goals or to travel. Make things work in your favour. When I was young even though I couldn’t travel because I don’t have the money for that, so I’ve attended community programs and volunteered on outreach programs and demographic surveys during summer vacations. I was a scholar of a Politician during College and this comes with a lot of opportunities and responsibilities it made my younger years a lot more exciting and worthwhile. Now that I’m turning 30 people worry that I’m still unstable and don’t have a child yet. I’ve set my goals and priorities already and there are things that I need to postpone and to sacrifice for the meantime. Things has been extra difficult for me coz’ I don’t really have that support system like others have. I have to work for everything that I have and that’s just fine with me. I’m awesome in so many ways 😂 (it’s confidence not cockiness) and being independent is one. So, regarding with age it’s just a number, your willingness and hunger of exploring and doing important things in this world is the thing that matters. Work your way through things in your own way. Opportunities come for a reason. Just try everything you can.
There are a lot more things I want to share but I think these things are enough for now. Please check out my youtube channel Pinky Barr enjoy and thanks for reading this blog. God bless!
