Purpose Driven Life (CHAPTER 2) Blog Writers Journal

My life, If I am still what I used to be, would’ve wished to not have the life that I’ve had growing up. I wish I wasn’t a symbol of pain, hatred, resentment, a mistake. I have wished for many times to have never been born and to suffer and carry on my shoulders all the consequences of a mistake that my parents have made. Being a collateral, a sacrifice to console the hearts of those people who’ve been hurt, broken and hearts filled with hate- I had to receive everything to the point of getting tired and just wanting to just die and to stop all the sufferings, depression, anxieties, self pities, over flowing fear of many things and to just rest, to go home. Whenever I get happy people seem to hate it that they   try to take it away. People connived to bad mouth me out of their own fear and hurt that has been instilled to their being coz’ nobody has thought them otherwise. I understand their pain and I hope I was able to lessen their pain knowing that I am suffering too, alone at most: before when I didn't understand everything yet, when I still cannot accept what God want for myself. There are many things that I have struggled to accept before. But through God and His love and grace I was saved and is still being saved to date. This faith I have was instilled to me by God and the people He’d sent, so strong that even if I have gone through worst(even now I am still wounded and still lick my wounds that easily aches anytime of the day) I still have the reason to smile, to love someone so strong that I am willing to withstand anything just to protect and care for them; to feel for those who’re hurt, in need, and are broken; to console a person who runs to me and confides and in need of a shoulder, a helping hand or an ear that will listen, or a voice to be heard of the things that needed to be heard. I have come to realise all the things I am capable of doing, and all of these are from the Father.

I may be impatient, I may curse and fail to shut my mouth to stop saying poisonous truths, I may act hypocritical and dogmatic sometimes- this we’re all wired perfectly by God that through these imperfections I learn my lessons the hard way. No matter how hard the process God never fails to teach me and to keep me as a close student willing to be taught and sharpened to be better every time. I don’t hate the people who’ve done me wrong. Sometimes I feel sorry for most of us coz’ we’re all victims and lost children of God. I just wish that they also find their way to Him and to stop wandering far from Him. Hate is not worth it. So is anger, revenge, jealousy, bitterness, selfishness, cruelty and the likes. I hope we do not commit the same mistakes of the people who’ve caused us a lot of pain and suffering. God may have planned everything but let us pray and listen to Him very well to live a purposeful life that glorifies and delights our Lord God.

Thank you and God bless.

Purpose Driven Life Daily Journal (Blog Writers Perspective)

Have you ever tried reading Rick Warrens’ Purpose Driven Life? Have you tried many times and failed to finish it many times? This book has been introduced to me when I was still in high school. I have a hard bound copy it was beautiful all the things written to it we’re eye-opening and yet I failed to finish it for many times. For a book lover like me I did felt giddy with the smell of a books page. If I could remember I was excited the first time that I’ve received this book. It’s a wish granted and I’ve always had this feeling of wanting to know more about God and to gain more wisdom. But still those weren’t enough, I got distracted by life and failed to finish it every-time.

I am curious about the people who’re able to finish the book. What have they become after? Did they change even if being faithful to God and the ministry is extremely hard? I am very curious. (Hoping to talk to you if you we’re able to finish this book.) When I first got it I was excited to finish every reading even the one for the next day, but that cannot be for it is strictly 1 chapter per day. Back then I didn’t have someone to talk to about it. This time a friend, a sister, a very talented christian leader whose been renewed(far greater than she was before) started reading and invited me to read with her. I was amazed at how great she have become and I could really see that BIG change that wasn’t there before. She’s a really close friend for more than a decade that is why I have seen all the changes in her being as a christian leader, a person, a partner and a friend.

Already on my 6th day of reading PDL and I’ve already missed 1 day this shouldn’t be like that and I wanted to really commit to it. I’ve decided to write every day here on my blog to share this journey of 40 Chapters and 40 Days of reading PDL. Hope to read with you and collaborate with someone interested in finding out what is a Purposeful Driven Life.

Why did I decided to read it again? It was actually an answered prayer. Days before I started reading the book I was questioning my life purpose again. I have stopped doing my blogs and uploading videos on my youtube channel for more than 2 weeks now and I was questioning what should I do with my career path. I was writing in my journal, I prayed and wanted to know for I am starting to feel lost again and questions what I should be doing with my life feeling all the pressure from all the people who wanted us to start and to do something to earn a living. We are currently job seeking in a foreign country, me and my husband. For me this time would really serve as the biggest and most important choice that I would ever have to take in terms of my career and for me and my husband. I didn’t want to be distracted by what other people think, for this is for us and this is my life and I want to do something that would really serve something relevant or important to God. It’s not an excuse, I really want to start earning a living but I have to make a good choice that I wouldn’t regret in the future. I have doubts about myself if I’d be able to do something good or right but I just have to rely on God in this chapter of my life. Suddenly, this came. Me and my friend we’re messaging and was able to talk about life purpose. It so happens that she’s been reading the book for 11 days already. If I could remember I was only able to read till chapter 6 or 7, whenever I am reading each chapter now I was reminiscing how I have understood and have changed before during the first trials of reading it.

Now I’ll start sharing my thoughts and learning with every chapter.

CHAPTER 1 

Now, I am really selfish and self-centred. That’s what I have learned from this chapter. You see I am an illegitimate child. My parents are separated. I’ve been a sheltered kid, the youngest, the favourite. I have experienced a lot of trauma, rejection, disappointments, malicious attacks and financial problems have started arising when I was about to finish High School. I’m just summarising everything but If I’m gonna share my life 1 book wouldn’t be enough. All the things I’ve gone through has made me depressive, anxious and, suicidal at some point of my life. It’s not something I could boast but I am still here fighting everyday battles because of God. Overtime, I have changed. Growing with God is better than trying to figure out things on your own. Check this blog that I have written last time. This has been a product of God. If it wasn’t for Him I won’t be able to share this learnings and perspectives in life. My efforts in living a purposeful driven life is going to be more focused and guided now that I have this book and the people who’re gonna be part of this journey and of course with God. Life is distracting. All our wants and needs here on earth are distracting us on what is really important. We are created for God and nothing else. I was so focused on myself and have felt that since I was hurt and broken I am entitled to receive whatever I want, to have an easy and good life after all the things I have gone through and is going through. I have learned that my life has been a struggle a learning a transformation and a survival because of God’s love. Through this christian friend I was able to forgive my father whom I have loathed when I was still a juvenile teenager. Through God who’ve made a solid friendship with her I am blessed to be reading this book again and realising how blessed I am with all the hardships and all the things I am going through right now. It is hard but it is worth it.

Hope to see you on the next chapter. Please do comment here or message me on my facebook page Mind it Now if you want to share your own journey with God and life problems. I’m ready to listen.

Thank you for reading! God bless! 😘😘😘